Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
