I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
