i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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