he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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