i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
