I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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