I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
