im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
