Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
