So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You don't make any sense
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