you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
