end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.