Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.

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(406): I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea. http://tfl.nu/bq8d

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(206): View more from Washington

Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.

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(206): Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial. http://tfl.nu/2fb2

Replies (14) Good night (4094) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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(514): View more from Quebec

i'm home, then i'll come over

(1-514): View more from Quebec

ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa

(514): View more from Quebec

nvm.

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(514): i'm home, then i'll come over (1-514): ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa (514): nvm. http://tfl.nu/kqkd

Replies (40) Good night (943) Bad night (3047)
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(951): View more from California

Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.

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(951): Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already. http://tfl.nu/bhvw

Replies (64) Good night (4832) Bad night (797)
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(214): View more from Texas

Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.

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(214): Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever. http://tfl.nu/bza6

Replies (29) Good night (8889) Bad night (1392) Order T-Shirt
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(208): View more from Idaho

you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.

(1-208): View more from Idaho

did we at least go back and get it?

(208): View more from Idaho

how else do you think we got jack in the box...?

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(208): you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too. (1-208): did we at least go back and get it? (208): how else do you think we got jack in the box...? http://tfl.nu/t8wq

Replies (21) Good night (6394) Bad night (806)
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(785): View more from Kansas

your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us

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(785): your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us http://tfl.nu/mks6

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(419): View more from Ohio

apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"

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(419): apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty" http://tfl.nu/fxst

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room

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(610): Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room http://tfl.nu/oqu1

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(619): View more from California

How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?

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(619): How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup? http://tfl.nu/tdw6

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(319): View more from Iowa

ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation

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(319): ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation http://tfl.nu/4iz3

Replies (13) Good night (973) Bad night (888)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.

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(802): I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny. http://tfl.nu/ndpa

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(703): View more from Virginia

that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis

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(703): that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis http://tfl.nu/car4

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(248): View more from Michigan

Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.

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(248): Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience. http://tfl.nu/5ghs

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(720): View more from Colorado

You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.

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(720): You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work. http://tfl.nu/msxy

Replies (0) Good night (175) Bad night (608)

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