If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Drunk is not a location!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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