so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs