what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
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i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
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He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.