Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
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Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
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WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.