Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
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I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
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And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.