She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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