Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Never joke about your clitoris.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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