i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
