You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
