oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
