I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
