my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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