Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish I only lived at night.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Randomize
