I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
