Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
