We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
