I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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