Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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