I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize