trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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