He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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