Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
