Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
