I CAN MOONWALK!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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