I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
