He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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