you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
