i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
