If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
