she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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