They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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