Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
