the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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