dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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