question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
