i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
