Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize