I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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