Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
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