i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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