Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
