He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
