I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
