I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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