Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
