Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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