I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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