just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
is that a dick in a sweater?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
