I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize