I only kidnapped one of them. chill
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
