My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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