We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
