so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
sarcasm needs its own font
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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