not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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