So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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