I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have feelings that need drinking.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
