my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
