I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
