We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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