this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
